Sunday, May 25, 2014

Writing for me (and for the world)

Finding balance might be my greatest challenge in life. I am either running myself ragged or I am lallygagging for hours and hours (sometimes for days). I swing from one extreme to another and that is positively exhausting. Because of a busy time of year with my work combined with some personal busyness (more on that at a later time), I have avoided one of the things that I love the most...writing for fun.

Why is it that I feel guilty when I make time for this? In these past six weeks, I have felt like I have to first finish my work-work and my housework (something that I am not very good at as you can read about here), then exercise for me followed by a walk with my dogs (exercise for them), and finally if there is time (which of course, there never is), I can write for me in complete peace. BUT JUST KIDDING because as soon as I think about writing for me, I think about an approaching deadline for a work project that requires a significant amount of writing. Basically, when I think about writing for me, I think about that not-so-much-fun writing that I should probably be doing instead.

Why do I let myself feel guilty about writing for me? Even if nobody else reads these words (which is a pretty safe bet), I am writing about something important to me...or at the very least, I am writing something about meI am creating something for me from something within me. I am writing these words. I am reading these words. I am doing something that I love. God forbid that I do something for me. The world might just stop turning if I do something that doesn't result in a tangible reward like money or muscles or a clean house or a mind-blowing orgasm. (Is an orgasm actually tangible? For men, there is certainly tangible evidence, but what about for women? I would say it absolutely is to the woman who feels it. So, does that mean a female's orgasm is only tangible to the woman who experiences the orgasm? Well, there is my philosophical thought for the day. Just call me Aristotle.)

Writing for me keeps me more centered and a little (just a little) more sane. I mean, can't you tell how centered and sane I am right now? There is so much wisdom and logic pouring out of me as I write this that I wouldn't be surprised if the answer to world peace just flows right out of me. So, why should I feel bad for making time to write for me? I am actually more productive (and a lot more tolerable) when I set aside this time for myself. Not to mention, the amount of money I save on wine because I am less stressed. And most importantly, that mind-blowing orgasm is so much more likely. It is truly amazing what a centered mind can do for your body. Try it. Your mind and body will thank me. Also (and maybe even more importantly than my last point...but only maybe), if writing leads me to the answer to world peace, well it would just be selfish of me not to write. If you look at it that way, I am not just writing for me...I am writing for the world.

So today, I wrote for me (and as we all learned, for the world too). Usually, I would save this post and read and reread and edit and delete and rewrite and repeat until I am ready to publish, which could be tomorrow or the next day or the day after that. But today I wanted to write and I don't want to wait and revisit this post tomorrow because tomorrow I may not feel like I do right now. Before I know it, days, maybe even weeks or months could pass before I come back to this. Once I put something off, even for a day, the procrastination often continues at an exponential rate. Sometimes, so much time passes that I don't ever come back. That's how I operate.

So although it isn't much, I did it. I wrote for me.

Oh, and by the way, the world hasn't stopped turning. Actually, the world is one step closer to peace (thanks to me).

As for the mind-blowing orgasm...well, like any good scientist, I am going to test my hypothesis.

P.S. I came across this quote at a restaurant last night. I want this to be my new mantra for all of the writing in my life.

P.P.S. It is quite possible that the answer to world peace is a mind-blowing orgasm. Another possibility is a centered mind. But one is much more likely to achieve a centered mind after experiencing a mind-blowing really that makes mind-blowing orgasms the answer. I told you the answer would flow right out of me.